i spent a lot of years looking across the way only because there was nothing on my side. well. that’s not entirely true. i had a gig. a brand. people waiting. riders winning. what was missing was a surety. a thing i could attach myself too that convinced me i could lick this. something that no matter how many days i stood at a bench, a thing that would make me feel, make me believe, that others might look across the way and wonder how long it took for me to get there. the there is what we’re putting under the microscope here. i haven’t met too many who believe they got there, or are there, or. ya there are some cats and kittens who have a few tasks dialed. but having all of them dialed? no. that’s why i still look around. and try to drink in anything that inspires. that might push me. encourage me. that carrot. a lesson i missed years ago. a master who reached out but whose hand i didn’t grab. stand around long enough and ya get a metric whole ton of what-ifs. it can be fucking unnerving if you stare it down too often. or for too long. i just know that looking is the only way to get there. i keep looking.
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All This By Hand
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