On Hastings Pond

I came to Hastings Pond four years ago this month. And it’s everything I (and TLD…) wanted, and want. But I still have pangs of being unsettled, and haven’t found a rhythm for my routine. The bench is there, and I go to it each morning. The riding is great, and once-new roads are now my own. The pond, the quiet, Deb’s gardens, and the winters – all are too beautiful for any words.

Once, everything I had was given to me. I accepted what was served, lived with no goals, and believed I had all that I needed and always at the right time. When a road forked, I never considered that both choices couldn’t be the right one. I was comfortable. Did I get comfortable being comfortable? It all changed four years ago this month. And here I am.

In many of the changes I’ve made along the way, I trusted that the outcome would be perfect. I’m used to letting things find their way. Starting over seems to have delivered me to a place I wasn’t prepared for – being uncomfortable. In some ways I’m not starting over at all; it’s more like starting – period. Maybe I thought the passage would take less time, or be easier.

I don’t make that many big decisions, but changing my place to come here certainly was one. In the past, fate would bring me to a landing spot that I never considered a destination. And I got comfortable being there. The pattern was broken four years ago this month when I moved to Hastings Pond.

Some of my days are out of balance but I’m not that phased about it. I need to find a trust I once had, even if I never knew I had it. Being there, where everything works, the days are happy, and life is fulfilling, is a gift. Some folks wait a lifetime to receive the gift. Some never get it. I know what it’s like to have it, but feel it’s been misplaced. And here I am.

Walking across a pond was once so easy. Did I know where the rocks were, or was I being helped? Now my feet get wet and my eyes water too. Though my understanding of comfortable may be changing, I have all that I need and always at the right time, here on Hastings Pond.