Why Change Matters

by | February 20, 2014

Knowing what to take and what to leave is an art form. We can fool ourselves into believing we’re practitioners. Mastering it takes discipline and is a life’s work. Playing catch-up is a full time job.

I’m fact-checking, proofreading, and editing my personal code. At the center of my universe, I’m surrounded with opinions, a circle of friends, and a trove of memories, letters, and objects from earlier times. When I ask myself why I have them, there’s this boilerplate reply: They fill a need.

How I spend my days, the company I keep, and what I save, are all part of a nicely arranged support system. Are these things part of my life? Maybe they are my life! They sustain me, make me feel good, and validate me. They fill needs. I live behind walls that are thick, tall, and safe. Could I live without them, alone and exposed?

I’ve considered a complete purge, hitting the switch that miraculously leaves you alone and with no ties. But I’m afraid of being left vulnerable, with no Undo key that would let me change my mind at the last second. Crossing that threshold is a goal. Heck, maybe it’s only a small fantasy.

Time passes. Opinions get annotated. The cast of characters changes. Some objects become more important, others less. But there’s always the personal code, that stew of beliefs that makes us who we are. My pot has been stirred. The things that matter to me are changing, and so are the things that fill my needs. That’s life.